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Alaskan Empireball
: Аляскинская Империяшар Alyaskinskaya Imperiyashar : ᐊᓛᓯᑲᓱᑦ ᓄᓈᑦᐃᒡᔪᒃ Alaasikasut Nunaatigjuk |founded = 1 January 2000 |predicon = Alaskan Republic |onlypredecessor = Alaskan Republicball |image = Alaskan Empireball.png |caption = ALÉSCÖ MIRAAN VORTAÍ!!! MIRAAN VORTAÍ OMNIE AETOTAAR AEN!!! |government = Federal absolute monarchy Matriarchy REMOVE FEMINAZIS!!! Empire MIRAAN VORTAÍ OMNIE AETOTAAR AEN XAXAXAXAXAXAXA Alien |personality = Knightly, chivalrous, courteous, heroic, proud (and at some times vain), sensual, romantic, domineering (sometimes), alien |language = Aléscöi English Eskimo-Aleut languages (Inuktitut most of all) Russian Alien |type = Aléscöi Eskimo-Aleut Alaskan Natives American (technically) Russian Kebab I AM NOT KEBAB, REMOVE JIHAD!!! Alien |capital = New Archangelball |affiliation = ADNball Pan-Arctic Communityball G20ball G7ball OECDball OPECball Vodka NATO CSTOball |religion = Christianity * Aléscö-Byzantine Orthodoxy Aléscöi Polytheism (only Western countryball who can into official polytheistic religion) Buddhismball Islamball REMOVE JIHAD!!! ∆γγ LM∆θism |friends = Anyone who is a capitalist neo-nationalist right-wing populist anti-globalist commie-remover, but most importantly... Happy 100th Name-Day Polonia!!! My second most important ally and puppet in the Pacific I can into MAGA too! He can into impertua like me Fellow commie/SJW remover and my puppet who likes trees Others who can into impertua like me Beneluxball Francolanda Confaederatia Alpinolanda I wish paella would leave yuo alone, but seriously don't turn commie on me! Other aliens stranded on Earth just like me He is mei patori in spirit, if not in body (don't turn commie on me plox) Grecolanda Has sexy women like me BUT MINE ARE STILL SEXIER XAXAXAXAXA I stand with you but remove circumcision plox!!! Amikatora vortaí miraan and my puppet fellow China-remover in the Pacific Koryolanda Resuneito Nibonlanda Tailanda Impertuaal Sinolanda Veritaal Congratulations to Bolsonaro for can into president of hue!!! BUT I STILL HAVE SEXIER WOMEN THAN YUO XAXAXAXAXAXA Fellow remover of kebab/wonton/commie BUT AEVERESTI IS STILL MINE!!! I WISH THEY WOULD STOP BURNING YUO Aliens Formerly: I did it patori...I carried on your legacy...*snif*...now you can finally into resting in peace... You were the true Koryolanda all along, enjoy reunification |enemies = Anyone who supports globalism, leftism, communism, socialism, "democratic" socialism, open borders, fascism, female supremacy and political correctness, as well as anyone who beats up people who disagree with any of the aforementioned, but especially... YUO ARE OF FAILED STATE, REMOVE MADURO!!! LEAVE CATALONIA ALONE!!! Or else... (((PURE EVIL))) LITERALLY SATAN REMOVE HOMOSEX!!! FAKE CHINA AND COMMIE SCUM, REMOVE!!! Or else... YUO ARE OF REAL FASCISTS, REMOVE!!! I AM NOT KEBAB, REMOVE JIHAD!!! Or else... YUO CANNOT INTO FEMALE PRESIDENT OF USA XAXAXAXAXA!!! [[w:c:polandball:UNball|I WILL NEVER JOIN YUO!!! REMOVE GLOBALISM!!!]] FLAG STEALER!!! STAHP BURNING VOLKSTAATBALL YUO AFRICOMMIES!!! JUST STAHP!!! Or else... Formerly: YUO SCREWED UP USABALL, REMOVE DEEP STATE!!! YUO HOLOCAUSTED MY PEOPLE, 1945 NEVER FORGET!!! YUO ARE MY CLAY NAO XAXAXAXAXA!!! YUO ARE OF FAKE KOREA AND CANNOT INTO FUNCTIONAL NUKES XAXAXAXAXA!!! [[w:c:polandball:Soviet_Unionball|(((I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YUO]] FOR 1917))) BOMBED MY CLAY IN WWII AND ALSO FORMER FLAG STEALER LITERALLY AFRICAN HITLER |likes = MAGA; her flag; ravens; her Emperor, Aurora Romanova Silverwing; her language; being #1 superpower of the Arctic; hunting and fishing; cannabis; her military; her women; her aboriginal peoples; Wonder Woman, capitalism; high technology; The Great Awakening, her vast mineral wealth; �� #Oil4Dayz; her overseas possessions; aliens |hates = Terrorists, KEBAB IN HER CLAY, JIHADISTS TRYING TO BOMB ME, GOATFUCKERS, being called kebab, FEMALE SUPREMACISTS, liberal snowflakes who call us Nazis and fascists, LEFTIST REBELS WHO DRESS LIKE ARMY OF BANK ROBBERS, COMMIE SCUM, big-eared idiot who ruin USAball and allow jihad on his clay, [[wikipedia:Hillary Clinton|'LYING POLITICIANS']], the US Democratic Party, partisan politics in general, leftism of any kind, her low male birth rate, VEGANS, being called a matriarchy, transsexuals, homosex in general but ESPECIALLY transsexuals, GLOBALISTS |intospace = Can into world-orbiting network of battlestations and defense satellites because I am secretly a 6ball which enables me to obliterate entire clays from orbit and establish global air and space supremacy within mere seconds. I have no current plans to use for now. |bork = Aléscö vortaí Suka Blyat ∆γγ LM∆θ ∆γγ LM∆θ Impertua Impertua Silverwing Silverwing Khazarin Khazarin ALLAHU AKBAR |food = Whatever she can hunt or fish from the wild; does not eat (((VEGAN FILTH))) of any kind. Also eats whatever cuisine aliens eat |status = Currently in a cold war with Fake Chinaball because of Aléscö-Chinese War and Chinaball losing some of his clay. |notes = She is the only countryball that can into all-female military and the only Western countryball that can into polytheistic official religion. Also can into the sexiest and tallest women on the planet (TAKE THAT BRAZIL XAXAXAXAXA!!!). |gender = Always female |predecessor = Aliens Alaskan Republicball}}Alaskan Empireball, ''' also known as '''Aléscöball, is secretly a 6ball a countryball located primarily in northern North America. She is the second-largest countryball on Earth, behind only PAFball, but is currently the world's dominant superpower alongside USAball, Chinaball, Eurasian Unionball, EUball and Brazilball. Personality Despite always being depicted as female, Aléscöball is a virile and extremely macho countryball, but this does not make her a cartoony "butch lesbian" archetype. In fact, because she has the lowest sex ratio of any countryball (0.25) and a sex ratio at birth of just 0.00002 (1 boy born per 50,000 girls), Aléscöball is often referred to as the Vodka Kebab Amazon of the Arctic because she is the only countryball who can into all-female military. However, Aléscöball considers herself a modern-day knight because she is the only Western country who can into absolute monarchy; therefore she is chivalrous, gallant, courteous, heroic and proud and sometimes vain, and oftentimes even nurturing, as the neologism "maternal warrior" describes Aléscöball all too perfectly. Aléscöball is often called a matriarchy because of the abnormally low sex ratio in her population and at birth, but she REALLY takes serious offense to that. The abnormally low sex ratio in her clay is because of her period under occupation by one Axis soyboy who got tired of apologizing was ass-hurt because Aléscöball wouldn't gib 50% of her oil revenue and clay when he asked for an economic bailout. During her years under occupation by Fascist Canadaball a Holocaust took place throughout her clay during which millions of 3balls and Inuitballs were experimented on with horrible Wunderwaffe biological and chemical agents, including one called the Grey Plague, which dramatically reduced the probability of being pregnant with a son to 50000:1. Plus, most of her male population was wiped out because of World War II. Her clay never experienced the female supremacist feminist movement, particularly because Aléscöball already can into equality without feminism. Because of her weird language which is the only Romance language that can into non-Latin alphabet because it was developed by 6balls, Aléscöball is often considered to be a 6ball herself. Despite never having been colonized by UKball unlike nearly 25% of the world at the time, Aléscöball can speak fluent English complete with the proper spelling and all that, but when entering emotional extremes (specifically, when enraged) she uses the same broken Polandball grammar like the other countryballs in the Polandball universe. History ' From Humble and Alien Beginnings (c.15,000 BCE-1799) ' Aléscöball originated as a 6ball stranded on Earth lonesome Inuitball who crossed the Bering land bridge to what is now North America from what is now Asia about 15,000 years ago, settling in what now comprises her clay. Her clay is comprised of several different varieties of 3balls with her fellow Inuitballs being the largest group. For most of her pre-European history, these 3balls primarily existed as hunter-gatherer societies. In 1741, however, the Daneball known as Vitus Bering arrived off the coast of Aléscöball's clay on an expedition commissioned by Tsar Peter the Great of the Russian Empireball. Six years later, Russiaballs made landfall at Three Saints' Bay in the Aleutian island chain of her clay, soon to become Russian clay. They were after the fur trade and their slice of North American clay, specifically the "soft gold" or sea otter fur, the softest in the world after chinchilla fur; at the time it was worth its weight in gold. ' Russian Americaball (1799-1917) ' At first the Russiaballs were brutal to Aléscöball, the Inuitballs and the other 3balls in her clay. Starting in 1783, several of these Russiaballs known as promyshlennikiballs would round up her 3ball brothers and sisters, using them as slave laborers to hunt furs and remove other 3balls elsewhere on the west coast of North American clay for future expansion. They would brutally put down any uprisings against them and this was the order of the day for the first 20 years of Russian rule, but eventually they stopped when the Tsarina Catherine the Great condemned the violence and ultimately decreed that no more 3balls were to be exploited for furs. From 1763 onward, the Russiaballs began to treat her 3ball and Inuitball brothers and sisters more equitably, offering them jobs in the fur trade and even having little creoleballs with them, though it would take two generations for the 3ball population to bounce back from near-extinction. Thus Aléscöball's first incarnation, Russian Americaball, was born, with her current capital city in New Archangelball. Come 1867, Russiaball had just lost the Crimean War to UKball and Franceball and was in need of money, but he wasn't willing to give up his only territory in North America. When USAball put forward a proposal to buy up Aléscöball's clay, Russiaball refused. The threat of UKball expanding into his North American clay instead prompted him to heavily militarize Alescoball's clay, so when gold was found in her clay, prospectors from the respective clays of USAball and elsewhere around the world began pouring in by the hundreds of thousands, and much monies would be of gibbings to Russiaball and Aléscöball from the massive economic boom that followed, enabling Russiaball to pay for Aléscöball's modernization. During World War I, Aléscöball and Russiaball both fought on the side of the Allied Powers against the Reichtangle and his friends, though Russiaball pulled out of the war after the Battle of Tannenberg due to some internal problems. In 1917, the Romanov dynasty was toppled from power, and Tsar Nicholas II and the rest of the Romanov Russiaballs fled to Yekaterinburg. Thus, the Russian Empireball died, and the Soviet Unionball was born. Even though her late father pulled out of the war because of commie, Aléscöball continued to fight on in his stead until the ensuing Allied victory in 1917. ' Tsardom of Alaskaball (1917-1945) ' Upon hearing that commie anschlussed her adoptive father's clay, Aléscöball was very sad. As commies began to remove Tsarists and food and human rights from Russiaball's former clay, the Romanov dynasty and several of his supporters were able to flee to Aléscöball's clay, removing Russian Americaball and establishing a new Tsardom from scratch, resulting in the rise of her second incarnation, Tsardom of Alaskaball, the final bastion (and eventual successor) of the Russian Empireball on Earth. As a result of the massive influx of White Russiaballs from her father's former clay, Aléscöball was well on the way to becoming one of the world's great powers and eventual world superpower. While the rest of the world suffered from the Great Depression, Aléscöball flourished as other impoverished countryballs came to her seeking economic bailouts. She was one of the few Western countryballs to escape the extreme economic collapse of the Depression, with oil being discovered in the far north of her clay in 1934. Of these impoverished countryballs seeking bailouts from her, none were more desperate than Canadaball, whose economy was so closely linked to that of USAball and UKball. His economy was in a shambles, his infrastructure woefully crippled, his people could not into food or warmth and his industrial level was way behind the times. Still, that did not stop him from going to Aléscöball and seeking economic bailouts. At first Canadaball was successful in negotiation but when he asked if he could into a 50% share of Aléscöball's oil profits and the eastern part of her clay, she kicked him out of her clay in disgust, as she was not going to just let some mooch suck her hard-won monies dry. Little did Aléscöball know that Canadaball would not forget this, and that he would come back to bite her in the ass in the future. Shortly after Aléscöball kicked him out of her clay for being a soyboy whiner asking for half of her oil profits and clay, Canadaball suffered a severe mental breakdown from his hopeless economic situation, causing him to develop an alter ego. Civil war eventually broke out between his Nazi-backed fascist personality and his Allies-backed normal ersonality, with USAball providing Canadaball with money and weapons that could have been used to invade and remove fascism from Germanyball's clay. Eventually Nazi Germanyball and Fascist Franceball directly intervened on the side of the Blueshirts and invaded his eastern coast while the Empire of Japanball invaded his western coast. Besieged on two sides of his clay, Canadaball's alter-ego finally got the better of his former self, completely consuming him and transforming him into the Canada Union Stateball. The rest of the civil war involved him removing democracy, rosbif, burger, homosex, kosher and commie and freedom and human rights from his clay. Come 1941, after Japanball bombed Pearl Harbor and then invaded and anschlussed Hawaiiball, he and Fascist Canadaball turned their attention to Aléscöball to get revenge on her for kicking them out of her clay and denying them economic bailouts. Even with her vast resource wealth and her vast White Alaskan Army, Aléscöball was no match for the Axis and she was beaten into submission by the Japanballs and Fascist Canadaballs. In 1943, Tsar Alexei II, the last ruler of the Tsardom of Alaskaball, was among the casualties of the Axis invasion along with most of the Romanov family, and the Tsardom of Alaskaball became the last Allied countryball to surrender at the end of World War II, becoming an occupied territory of Fascist Canadaball. ' Under Hockey Hitler Canadian Occupation (1945-1959) ' The years after the fall of Tsardom of Alaskaball were very hard for Aléscöball. Nearly a quarter of a million White Russiaballs, 3balls and Inuitballs died, and this was just the beginning. Under occupation by Fascist Canadaball, nearly all 3balls and Inuitballs in Aléscöball's clay became slave laborers, either as expendable laborers in industrial enterprises or as bonded neo-serfs on the estates of Canadian farmers in its prairie provinces. But perhaps the most horrifying atrocity to ever befall the 3balls and Inuitballs was the inhumane medical experimentation performed upon them by the millions by Fascist Canadaball, such as weapons testing, drug trials, lobotomies, gas and pressure chamber trials, and even early forms of genetic splicing. The genetic splicing in particular, however, would backfire hard on Fascist Canadaball in the future, leading to the creation of the modern descendants of these oppressed countryballs and future master race: The Aléscöi. Even though the White Alaskan Army was woefully outgunned and heavily crippled after the war, it was far from defeated. Aléscöball knew that the Axis would take over her clay eventually, and in the event of inevitable anschlussing by Fascist Canadaball, she had a contingency plan in place to make the occupation of her clay as difficult as possible for him: *The development of the Aléscöi language, which is spoken by 6balls derived from Greek and Latin, jumbled together with the Russian language and her Inuit languages (particularly Inuktitut, which was almost extinct by this time). While it sounds like Latin and Greek being spoken in Inuit by an Arabball, the Aléscöi language is in fact an alien language part of the Romance language family, and is the only Romance language that can into non-Latin alphabet. It was indecipherable to the Fascist Canadaballs and remains one of the hardest languages to learn, let alone master, even today. *The cultural and territorial unification of all 3balls, Inuitballs and White Russiaballs in Aléscöball's clay into a single people using the Ulle Triba ("One Tribe") strategy, which was a massive and difficult undertaking as the 3balls and Inuitballs at the time had radical cultural differences. It took Aléscöball nearly 7 years to fully integrate all 3balls, Inuitballs and White Russiaballs with the Aléscöiballs. *The adoption of military tactics, strategy, organisation and equipment used by the Axis Powers during World War II, including the strategy of blitzkrieg. This suddenly made the White Alaskan Army a much more formidable opponent. *The use of constant guerrilla warfare to harass and disrupt Fascist Canadaball's grip over Aléscöball's clay. In 1952 a massive rebellion took place in Aléscöball's clay which ultimately led to Fascist Canadaball's surrender and withdrawal seven years later. Constant slave revolts and guerrilla attacks by the 3balls and Inuitballs in Aléscöball's clay as well as in Fascist Canadaball's own clay had left him weakened and unable to fight back against the resurgent White Alaskan Army, now supported by USAball under General Douglas MacArthur. It was at that moment that he decided to fight another day and on 3 January 1959, his control over Aléscöball ended. ' Alaskan Republicball and the Cold War (1959-2000) ' At the same time that USAball liberated her clay from Hockey Hitler, Aléscöball grew disillusioned with the fall of her monarchy. However, at least for the time being, she put her plans for restoring the Romanov dynasty to her throne on hold, and decided to become a constitutional republic instead; this resulted in her fourth incarnation, the Alaskan Republicball, being born. Aléscöball during the latter half of the 20th Century was on par with USAball as a world superpower. She soon found herself involved in the Cold War, which was raging between four distinct factions: * NATOball, led by USAball and his Allied friends. In later years, after USAball withdrew from the UNball for its treatment of Israelcube, it would be reformed into the alternative organizationball known as the Alliance of Democratic Nationsball, led by USAball and Aléscöball who helped found it. * Reichsweltgemeinschaftkügel, a fascist NATO fascist alliance led by Nazi Germanyball, whose strategy was to spread fascism to its rivals. Fascist Canadaball was part of this organization since he was part of the Axis during World War II. * The Warsaw Pactball, led by Soviet Unionball, whom Aléscöball particularly hated with a passion and wanted to seek vengeance against for killing her father. In later years, long after commie fell, it would become vodka NATO CSTOball, which Aléscöball would also join. * The Greater East Asia Co-Prosperitysphere or GEACOPsphere, led by the Japanese Empireball, which sought to spread its influence across Asia and expand across the Pacific. Aléscöball joined forces with USAball and the rest of NATOball, as that was where her best interests lay. The containment strategy of Aléscöball, USAball and the rest of NATOball was to contain the spread of fascism and communism before it reached the Americas. Her first battle of the Cold War was against her former oppressor. By this time she developed her own military-industrial complex and the Federal Alaskan Army used it to great effect, finally removing Fascist Canadaball from the face of the Earth and taking all of his clay for herself in 1975, after nearly 15 years of endless war. At the height of the Cold War, Aléscöball was now the third-largest nation on Earth, second only to USAball in military power and the size of her economy. By this time she even had her own space program which she stole from the former Fascist Canadaball and by the end of the Cold War, she had at least five orbiting battlestations and her first space-based superweapon, the ''Daiamaltekar'' strategic defense satellite, which could shoot down enemy ballistic missiles and orbitally remove enemy clays with kinetic orbital strikes. The threat of orbitally-launched hypervelocity rods being dropped on his clay from orbit and having no weapon to possibly counter them, along with his own internal problems was enough to make Sovietball go tits-up and become the capitalist Eurasian Unionball on 26 December 2000, thus ending the Cold War. ''' I Can Finally Into Empire Again XAXAXAXAXAXA (2000-Present) The beginning of the new millennium marked a new era for the world and for Aléscöball. Just two years earlier, the last remaining heir of the Romanov dynasty, a certain silver-haired Aléscöi woman, was finally located. This resumed Aléscöball's postponed efforts to restore the Romanovs to power in her clay, and on 1 January 2000, Aléscöball transitioned into her final and current incarnation, the '''Alaskan Empireball. After an attack by some jihadists on USAball's clay , Aléscöball joined USAball and his allies on a crusade to remove jihad in what would be the longest conflict in USAball life. Eventually, come 2008 with the election of a certain big-eared soyboy and his policy of Islamifying culturally enriching USAball, Aléscöball was on high alert, suspecting that terrorists would attempt into Islamification on her too, and the decision was made to ban Islam across her clay, resulting in hundreds of thousands of kebab being removed. In 2013, following the re-election of Barack Saddam Hussein Obama bin Laden that big-eared soyboy, several states began to secede from the Union, just as the CSAball had done so many years ago, because he enabled jihad and political correctness and race riots in USAball's clay, as well as violence against conservatives and libertarians and anything to the right of Stalin in the name of social justice. For the first time in nearly 170 years, USAball cracked under the pressure and, just like the Fascist Canadaball, he developed a severe mental breakdown as the conservatives and libertarians joined forces to remove demsoc from his clay. Aléscöball was involved in several conflicts, such as anschlussing LIBERATING some of Fake Chinaball's clay in the Aléscö-Chinese War in 1999, intervening on behalf of Cataloniaball during his struggle for freedom, and removing hockey baguette rebels from her own clay. She also supported (and continues to support to this day) MAGA and his supporters against the rise of commie soyboy liberal fake ninjas dressed like bank robbers. Some say she could be responsible for the great awakening gripping the world right now... Today Aléscöball is one of the world's superpowers and tied with USAball as the most powerful of them all. She is currently in a cold war with Fake Chinaball because she anschlussed LIBERATED some of his clay, and is also involved in Indiaball's clay to remove curry commie separatists, Venezuelaball's clay to stop commie from spreading, and other commie removal operations around the globe. Relationships 'Mei Familitia! (My Family)' * Rossiya Imperiya - He was my patori. He adopted me when I was but a lonely Inuit. Now because of [[w:c:polandball:Soviet_Unionball|'(((FILTHY COMMIE)))']], he is dead, and I miss him to this day, but I am his true successor because Romanovs fled to my clay when commie tried to remove them along with food, private property and human rights from patori's clay. I carried on your legacy, now you can finally rest in peace. * 6ball - All of the rumors are true, of course I am one of them. How else was I able to establish a world-spanning network of orbital battlestations? I am sure that there are others on Earth just like me. * Peizaalie Celtonoi ("Celtic States") - Because they have weird languages like me and Vascolanda, they consider themselves 6balls in disguise: ** Brezolanda - He is angry with Francolanda because he currently cannot into independence. Don't you look like Amerikeya on black and white television? Unfortunately he has commies and fascists in his clay and I have no idea which way he may swing, but only one thing is for certain: If you turn into either of them,' I WILL END YOU, EVEN IF YOU ARE MY BROTHER.' ** Cornolanda - He is the evil twin brother of Brezolanda who likes to switch off lighthouses. He is also famous for his pasties and his tin mining but my mineral wealth eclipses yours XAXAXAXAXA!!! but like his Celtic brothers he cannot into independence, which is why he and Anglolanda are at each others' throats. He also is gearing up to turn into (((FILTHY COMMIE))) like his twin brother and Galetilanda because they cannot into independence. If he turns commie on me then it no longer matters if he is my alien brother, I WILL DESTROY HIM LIKE THE COMMIE WHO KILLED MEI PATORI. ** Galetilanda - You may have a dragon on your flag and my religion has four of them as chief gods and the longest place name in Aevropia, but you have commie and fascism in your clay. Do not let either of them consume you, or I will be honor-bound to end your life. * Inuits - My clay has the highest concentration of them on Earth. In fact one of my official languages is Inuktitut, which I made the standard language of all Inuits. After all, I myself am one of them, and because of me they can into one unified people because of Ulle Triba. They were nearly holocausted by Hockey Hitler at the end of WWII. * Precursors - My clay is also home to several hundred different varieties of aboriginal peoples, which you may know as "Alaskan Natives." Each tribe is a semi-autonomous entity in my clay called a Precursor Stateball. Like my own people, they were also nearly holocausted by Hockey Hitler at the end of WWII. 'Amikatorie Miraan! (Best Friends)' * Amerikeya Impertuaal("American 'Empire'") - He is my closest and most powerful ally in Amerikeya Nortai and the world. Congratulations to Daiakhazarin Trump and I wish him luck in his crusade to remove the deep state, build the wall, drain the swamp and Make Amerikeya Great Again. I can also into MAGA as well. He can into impertua like me but not in the "traditional" sense * Anglolanda - He is my strongest ally in Aevropia and is leaving the Merkelreich because he cannot into national sovereignty again if he remains. In a way my monarchy is based on his but is still very much an absolute monarchy with democratic characteristics. By the way, I support Nigel Farage for prime minister and stand with you on Brexit, hope that this will remove the Merkelreich before it decides to integrate some more European clay... Was once impertua like me but potentially can into again * Francolanda - I feel sorry for her, she is trying to remove Macron for driving up taxes and spreading globalism in her clay. I stand with the Gilets Jaunes and hope that Marine le Pen can into becoming her president and spread MAGA. Was once impertua like me, but cannot into again because she is surrenderer monkey XAXAXAXAXAXA * Unitia Nordicaal ("Nordic Union") - He is part of the Circumpolar Commonwealth like me. I have had to bail him out in the past because of ISIS trying into jihad in his clay. Also I anschlussed removed suicide from Vortolanda who is now my clay XAXAXAXAXA. Contrary to the old saw, he is not socialist; in fact he tried socialism and it ended up biting him in the ass, so he returned to free-market capitalism like me and the rest of the Alliance of Democratic Nations. Still, me and Polonia face the daunting task of removing kebab and political correctness from his clay. Potentially can into impertua like me but not really * Confaederatia Alpinolanda ('Alpine Confederation") - He is known all over Aetotaar for his neutrality in virtually all world conflicts (though he was occupied by Nazi Germania for 25 years), his clockworking and chocolate-crafting skills, his breathtaking Alps and ski resorts, and his famous bank. In fact, he helped me get my banks and my national treasury started after Amerikeya help me into independence in 1959. He also can into high mountains like me but I have the highest mountain in the world XAXAXAXAXAXAXA. * Peizaal Australia Uneito (("Australian Union State") - He is my most important ally in the Pacific aside from Oceania Impertuaal, but is constantly under threat from Sinolanda Sudonicaal. Amerikeya and I guarantee his sovereignty but I'' take the prize as the land where everything wants to kill you. * Catalonia - I rescued him from his abusive maitora who still try into anschluss on him. He is ever-grateful to yei for guaranteeing his aotonomitia omnie, but there are terrorists in his clay who are trying to turn him into fascist, '(((COMMIE SCUM)))' or try to pull him back into his maitora's clay, which is very much the case with the other countryballs having broken away from her. * Polonia - '''Congratulations on your 100th anniversary Polonia! You are the shining beacon of Western civilization aside from me against the endless tides of kebab sweeping through Aevropia. One day you will into space, but for now we must hold the line against the kebab hordes!' Cannot into space, but potentially can into impertua like me * Afrikeya Leukoriaal ("White Africa") - I WISH THAT AFRICOMMIE WOULD STOP BURNING YUO!!! Though he has a dark and gloomy history under African Hitler, I forgive him because supporters of Africommie want to burn his clay and want into holocaust on all Afrikaners because of his history. WHAT HAPPENED IN THE PAST STAYS IN THE PAST AND IF YUO KEEP TRYING TO BURN HIM I WILL INTO ANSCHLUSS ON YUO AFRICOMMIE!!! ** : VOLKSTAATBALL IS MY CLAY!!! DEY HOLOCAUSTED MY PEOPLE AFTER WWII AND MADE DEM SLAVE AWAY IN DA DIAMOND MINES!!! I WILL AVENGE DA MILLIONS OF 8BALLS WHO SUFFERED AND DIED IN HIS CLAY AND I WILL EXPEL ALL DA COLONIZERS ONCE AND FOR ALL!!! YUO DON'T KNOW DA WAE!!! ** : Selminhúk, Afrikeya... * Brazilia - He is my strongest ally in Amerikeya Sotai. I have many Aléscöi in his clay and he has many hue in mine. I extend congratulations to Jair Bolsonaro for winning the presidency in 2018, he can into MAGA in his clay too. Was once impertua like me but potentially can into again 'Amikatorie (Friends)' * Judonia - I will stand arm-in-arm, hand-in-hand, shoulder-to-shoulder with him until the end of time. I don't have many Jews in my clay but still I recognize him over that jihad enabler who also tries into jihad on him. His Mossad helped my Imperial Intelligence Service get started, so kudos to him for that too. But one question remains though: Would it kill you to not circumcise everyone you come across in your clay? People are beginning to realize that it's not medically necessary anymore. Even Judonia has many Jews in his clay who are beginning to realize this too * Germania - My second greatest ally in Aevropia. Though I cannot forget his dark and tragic past, I can forgive him. Now he is overrun by kebab like almost all other countryballs in Aevropia thanks to Merkelreich and snowflake leftists. He was an impertua before and he can into impertua again since his alter ego faded away in the 90s after the Cold War. Still, he is prone to schizophrenic attacks, and the day may come when he will be consumed completely by his alter ego...and never wake up. * Eurasia - In a way, he is mei patori in spirit, if not in body. I miss him so much. But even though he arose from that [[w:c:polandball:Soviet_Unionball|'(((FILTHY COMMIE WHO KILLED MEI PATORI)))']], at least HE is not like his former self. He can into capitalism like me and, in a way, he can into impertua as well. But if you turn commie again... 'Opinitia Nei (Neutral/No Opinion)' * Slavia Sotai - Though he is a (((FILTHY COMMIE))) the two of us get along because he does not try to force communism on me, and because he is also a kebab remover. REMOVE COMMUNISM OR I WILL INTO DAIAMALTEKAR ON YUO!!! * Ottomans - He acts as a counterweight to Kalifada Miraan and is unique among kebabs in that he opposes jihad and can into secularism. But seriously though DOES IT KILL YOU TO ACCEPT THAT YOU DID TRY INTO HOLOCAUST ON ARMENIA?! He can into impertua like me ** : REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE FOR THE LAST TIME THERE WAS NO ARMENIAN GENOCIDE, REMOVE IMPERTUA!!! SİKTİR GİT!!! SİKTİR GİİİİİİİİİİİİİİİİT!!! * Gaelolanda - He is the North Korea of Europe most fortified island on the planet and has been so since the end of WWII thanks to his isolationist Dún Éire ("Fortress Ireland") policy. He finally was able into 26+6=1 when he joined the Axis and removed Anglolanda from his clay in 1940, before invading his clay to remove him from WWII. Because of his isolation policy, we hardly ever interact with one another but seriously though DOES IT KILL YOU TO NOT ALWAYS INTO IRA ON MEI AMIKATORIE IN AEVROPIA?! Oh, and if you DARE into IRA on me then I WILL END YOU. ** : YE DON'T SCARE ME, YE FACKIN' FROZEN KEBAB!!! ERIN GO BRAGH!!! ONE O' THESE DAYS, I'LL MAKE YA PAY FER SIDIN' WIT ROSBIF AGAINST ME!!! I DON'T REGRET JOININ' THE AXIS, THEY TREATED ME BETTER THAN ROSBIF EVER DID!!! 1941 WAS THE BEST YEAR OF ME LIFE BUT 1999 WAS ME WORST!!! ONE O' THESE DAYS I'LL REMOVE YE FROM THE FACE O' THE EARTH!!! ** : Selminhúk... 'Boho Suspitia (Suspicious/I Don't Trust Them)' * Kalifada Miraan ("Great Caliphate") - Despite our radically different religious faiths and politico-economic ideologies, we manage to find common ground for the most part. However, I am convinced that he is funding jihadists and Intifada, but he refuses to admit it. He is also a member of OPEC like me but I produce and export more oil than you XAXAXAXAXA. * Vascolanda - Though he is a 6ball like me and I supported his independence from paella, when I found out he turned into a (((FILTHY COMMIE))) like [[w:c:polandball:Soviet_Unionball|'(((THE ONE WHO KILLED MEI PATORI)))']] I more or less cut ties with him and we currently no longer communicate. But seriously though REMOVE BATASUNA OR I WILL INTO DAIAMALTEKAR ON YUO!!! 'Aversatorie (Enemies)' * Peizaal Intifada ("Land of the Intifada") - ' ''I do not support your senseless and futile jihadist cause or the god you claim to serve. I never have supported you and I never will for as long as I draw breath. I have bore witness to the atrocities of genocide for nearly 20 years when the False North occupied my clay and nearly holocausted my people. I know what it is like to bear host to genocide, and I stand with Judonia because we have that in common. You have crossed that line one too many times with Judonia. You have crossed that line with my allies in Aevropia and even with Amerikeya by starting Intifada in their clays and displacing their core populations with migrants who will also start Intifada in their clays. But for your sake, I would not cross this line with me. Because if you DARE start an Intifada on me, it will be the final mistake you will ever make, and not even your false god will save you from the combined might of a thousand Western nations descending upon you. GIVE ME ONE REASON, AND I WILL END YOU. ' * Espania - '''Heed my warning: '' Catalonia is not your clay anymore. You don't get to say "No" to his independence this time. Is it not sobering for you to realize that the one sovereign state that recognizes him as an independent state also happens to be a global superpower? I am that superpower. And everyone knows how you treat your subjects when they stand up for themselves. You claim to have gotten over your dark past, yet still trappings of it are very much alive in your clay and your government. I will never forgive you for what you've done to Catalonia, how you've treated him and all of the Catalans in your clay. It was only through my incredible mercy that I allowed you to live after my intervention on his behalf, and if you have any honor left, you will swallow your pride, make peace with Catalonia, and bury your vengeance once and for all. But if you continue to antagonize him, and make any further attempt to integrate him into your clay whether directly or indirectly, then it will be the death of you and your pathetic monarchy.' 'XOTONAI/XOTONTOROLIE!!! (BITCHES/SONS OF BITCHES!!!) * Peizaalie Uneito ("Unified Nations") - '''Since you do not seem to get the message, I will repeat it for you one last time: ''I will never join you. There is nothing you can possibly say or do to convince me otherwise. Even Amerikeya, one of the Allies who helped found you, realizes your true colors. I was right to refuse to join you when you extended your invitation to me. You are the posterball for hypocrisy on the most monumental scale. You support that jihad enabler and false state over Judonia, and your "peacekeepers" constantly engage in unspeakable acts of perversion and violence in the clays of the poorest countryballs. You are funded by Satan himself, who betrayed his own people to the Nazis, and your ulterior motive is to establish a one-world government under what amounts to "democratic" socialism, removing national sovereignty from the face of the earth. Your lies do not deceive me, demon. Your hypocrisy is the reason why I joined the glorious Alliance of Democratic Nations over you, because the key difference is that he honors and supports the national sovereignty of its members, whilst you do not. If you dare try to flood me with migrants or try any globalist tactics on me, it will be the end of you and your nascent hegemony.'' * Nortai Sudonicaal ("False North") - What are you...you...yuo...YUO!!! YUO NEARLY HOLOCAUSTED MY PEOPLE!!! 1959 BEST YEAR OF MY LIFE AND SO IS 1975 BECAUSE YUO ARE MY CLAY NOW XAXAXAXAXA!!! But seriously though YUO ARE OF FAKE NORTH, I HOPE YUO BURN IN THE NINE HELLS FOR ALL ETERNITY BECAUSE I HATE YUOR GUTS!!! * Aversator Miraan Rhudonaal ("Great Red Enemy") - XOTONTOROL MIR@N!!! PATORI MEI VALDEITO ULTE!!! ANNUA 1917 MIR@N M@L OMNIE VIDAR AEN MEI!!! MIR@N VORTAI OMNIE AETOT@R AEN!!! PEIZ@L SO$ALISMITIA SEN PROSPARITIA ULTE XAXAXAXAXA!!! KOMUNISMITIA RESMOTARE LENIN RESMOTARE STALIN RESMOTARE MARX RESMOTARE AI!!! POR MORTEITO ULTE FELICANTA SEL!!! REDENTARE NEI MIR@N OMNIE HOKUL!!! ALESKO MIR@N VORTAI!!! YUO KILLED MEI PATORI!!! 1917 NEVER FORGET!!! 2000 BEST YEAR OF MY LIFE BECAUSE YUO CANNOT INTO WORKING SOCIALISM XAXAXAXAXA!!! YUO ALSO ATTEMPTED INTO ANSCHLUSS ME IN THE COLD WAR BUT YUO CANNOT INTO MEI CLAY BECAUSE I DAIAMALTEKAR ON YUO AND REMOVE YUOR NUKES XAXAXAXAXA!!! But seriously though IF YUO EVER SHOW YOUR FACE AGAIN I WILL START ANOTHER DAIAMALTEKAR ON YUO!!! REMOVE COMMIE REMOVE LENIN REMOVE STALIN REMOVE GULAG REMOVE MARXISM REMOVE REMOVE REMOVE REMOVE REMOVE REMOVE REMOVE REMOVE REMOVE!!!